Chapter 13: Misunderstanding

Until Shen Tan stood right before him, Lu Mi had not figured out how to respond. He had never expected Shen Tan to come home today. Had he known, he wouldn’t have sent that message, nor would he have upset Shen Tan.

What did Lu Nande do when angry? He would scold him, sometimes even lay hands on him, or lock him away... But Shen Tan was different from Lu Nande.

Lu Mi clearly knew that Shen Tan and the Mr. Shen Lu Nande found were on the same side, and that Lu Nande was on that side too, yet subconsciously, he separated them in his mind. He was so deep in thought that his hands gripped the armrests of the gaming chair tightly, unaware that Shen Tan had already come up in front of him.

Only when his mind flickered did he notice a pair of slippers that looked like a set with his own fuzzy slippers—except Shen Tan’s were black. Immediately snapping back to reality, Lu Mi lifted his head and found Shen Tan looking down at him from above. He dared not meet Shen Tan’s eyes.

Every time he looked directly at Shen Tan, fear welled up inside him. Meeting face-to-face was not the same as talking over video. During these days of video calls with Shen Tan, he had thought he could fully adapt to being with him, but reality proved otherwise. He was still afraid.

Lu Mi’s eyes fluttered as he tried hard not to look away. Turning away might only anger Shen Tan further. Seeing him look over, Shen Tan slowly leaned closer, his knee pressing against Lu Mi’s. “Why are you looking at me with that expression? Did I do something to upset you?”

His tone held no hint of anger or joy.

Lu Mi hurriedly shook his head. It was clearly something he had done to upset Shen Tan. He lifted his chin slightly, but Shen Tan was too close. If he raised it any more, their breaths would meet fully, forcing him to lower his head again and lean back a bit.

Shen Tan seemed not to notice his evasive behavior. One hand rested on the top of the chair’s backrest. “So you weren’t ignoring me on purpose. I thought after such a long time apart, you didn’t want to see me anymore.”

“No…” Lu Mi’s denial was faint.

Shen Tan pressed, “No what?”

“I wasn’t ignoring you on purpose.” Lu Mi felt Shen Tan inching closer, as if taking over the chair’s territory. Shen Tan’s legs slowly squeezed between his, and Lu Mi dared not pull away, instead gradually spreading his legs to let Shen Tan slide in.

“So you really didn’t want to see me?” Shen Tan leaned down, his nose touching Lu Mi’s.

As expected, Lu Mi’s breathing grew heavier, probably recalling past memories. Before Shen Tan could do anything, Lu Mi’s ears flushed bright red, the color spreading across his face.

Shen Tan lowered his gaze, noticing Lu Mi unconsciously licking his lower lip.

“That’s not true,” Lu Mi quickly explained, fearing a deeper misunderstanding. “I didn’t not want to see you.”

“Do you know the opposite of ‘not wanting’?” Shen Tan chuckled, his nose rubbing against Lu Mi’s, tickling him until he reluctantly lifted his head.

Without much thought, Lu Mi answered, “Want.”

In truth, he couldn’t think clearly. Shen Tan’s breath was warm, and when his nose came close, images from their last encounter on the sofa flooded his mind. Before that, Lu Mi had never experienced anything like a kiss—or even holding hands.

He couldn’t forget that kiss on the sofa. Whenever Shen Tan approached, his body gave the most honest reactions: unsteady breath, lips and tongue tingling.

“What comes next?” Shen Tan’s other hand covered the one Lu Mi clutched on the armrest, palm pressing against the back of Lu Mi’s hand, warmth effortlessly flowing through. Shen Tan’s thumb began to stroke the back of Lu Mi’s hand as his eyes stayed fixed on him, waiting for the answer he wanted.

Lu Mi caught the scent of the same shower gel Shen Tan had been using these days. He opened his mouth slightly, breathing shallowly, his hand relaxing after a while. “It’s… wanting to see you.”

He didn’t understand why Shen Tan made him say it, but after hearing it, Shen Tan clearly smiled again, pleased with the answer. Raising his nose, he kissed Lu Mi’s nose gently. His kisses were always warm and moist, making Lu Mi close his eyes involuntarily.

But Shen Tan didn’t continue.

He pressed their noses together once more. “If you want to see me, then why did you look at me with that expression just now? Open your eyes, Lu Mi, look at me, and answer.”

Lu Mi’s eyelids trembled as he slowly opened them, yet he dared not meet Shen Tan’s gaze, his eyes darting away repeatedly.

But there was nowhere to hide.

The fear he had tried to forget surged back. He didn’t dare speak, pressing his lips tightly together.

Perhaps if he didn’t say anything, Shen Tan wouldn’t vent his anger on him.

“Don’t want to answer?” Shen Tan didn’t seem ready to get angry. “It’s okay if you don’t want to answer.”

That was what Lu Nande had said before.

Lu Mi wasn’t talkative. He refused to call his stepmother “Mom,” which angered Lu Nande. When Lu Nande demanded answers, Lu Mi remained silent.

Lu Nande said it was okay not to answer.

Then locked him in that small room.

It was Lu Nande’s birthday, and the Lu family hosted a joyful dinner, with relatives of his stepmother and the Lu family, his elder brothers.

But Lu Mi curled up on his small bed, unnoticed and unattended—no one cared why he wasn’t there or whether he had eaten.

Only the next day did Lu Nande remember his youngest son was still locked away.

He let Lu Mi out but did not ask if he had eaten; Lu Mi had to find some leftover food in the kitchen himself.

Since then, Lu Mi had never defied Lu Nande again.

He had to survive.

He wasn’t ready to die.

He was seven then.

Lu Mi’s eyelids fluttered rapidly, his voice trembling as he said, “Because you were angry.”

“Angry? Why would I be angry?” Shen Tan asked, but his tone revealed no surprise.

Having climbed to his position in the Shen family, he had seen all kinds of people, skilled in reading faces and understanding hearts.

Since entering this room, he had known Lu Mi’s mood was off.

He liked seeing Lu Mi tremble from fear—it was one of his pleasures—but he did not like Lu Mi bottling things up inside.

Nothing could be hidden on his face.

He wanted to control every part of Lu Mi, to have him belong wholly to himself.

But now, it wasn’t just fear of him.

Since saying, “It’s okay if you don’t want to answer,” Lu Mi’s emotions had become more outward.

He was panicked—but not because of Shen Tan.

Shen Tan only liked him trembling out of fear for himself.

No one else.

Shen Tan laughed softly. “Why do you think I’m angry?”

His thumb stroked Lu Mi’s hand continuously.

“Because… because…” Lu Mi lowered his gaze, memories flooding back of that day locked in the room—no water, no food, while outside it was lively. He thought he was about to die. That was the first time he realized how fragile he was, how easily he could die—just like his mother. He bit his lower lip. “Because I didn’t want to video call you anymore.”

Maybe saying it would ease things.

But Shen Tan might get angrier.

He still couldn’t believe Shen Tan wasn’t angry.

“I didn’t know about that,” Shen Tan said, releasing Lu Mi’s hand and instead stroking his earlobe.

The earlobe was always sensitive, and Lu Mi couldn’t help but let out a muffled sound, lifting his head to speak in broken breath, “I told you, but you didn’t reply.”

“I thought that meant you didn’t want to see me on video tonight, but wanted to see me at home instead.” Lu Mi’s earlobes were soft and warm, and Shen Tan traced the outline of his ear with his fingers. Lu Mi’s reaction to the ear’s curve was milder; his breathing eased.

Lu Mi was barely able to think straight. Shen Tan hadn’t touched his ears like this during their last kiss; the sensation was strange and thrilling. He struggled to keep his mind clear enough to understand Shen Tan’s words, staring at him in disbelief. “So that’s why you came home tonight?”

“Not exactly. I was planning to come home tonight anyway, but I thought I’d handle some work at the office first. Because of what you said, I brought my work home.” Shen Tan was typically strict about separating work and personal life; he never brought work home before, which was why he often stayed at the office.

But these words were obviously untrue.

He did plan to come home today, and even without Lu Mi’s message, he would have brought work home.

He hadn’t misunderstood Lu Mi’s words either.

Lu Mi breathed a slight sigh of relief.

Shen Tan hadn’t delayed work because of him.

But Shen Tan had brought work home because of him.

Was it to see him sooner?

His heartbeat quickened a bit, but then he reminded himself that Shen Tan had only misunderstood him.

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t be angry if he understood the truth.

And now Shen Tan knew.

He began to feel nervous again.

Yet Shen Tan’s fingers slid along his ear’s edge, gently rubbing inside. Normally, when Lu Mi touched there himself, he felt nothing. But Shen Tan’s simple fingertip caresses made him lift his vulnerable neck involuntarily.

Shen Tan, as if unaware of the intensity of Lu Mi’s reaction, calmly explained, “Even if you told me directly you didn’t want to video call, I wouldn’t be angry.”

Lu Mi’s refusal wouldn’t make him angry; it would excite him.

Shen Tan stopped caressing the ear and instead cupped the back of Lu Mi’s head. “I told you before, I’ll give you whatever you want, even if it’s something unfriendly to me.”

His gaze locked onto Lu Mi’s flushed face. “Seems you’ve never really listened to me. Now that I think about it, maybe I do need to be angry.”

Lu Mi shrank back instinctively, but Shen Tan held him firmly. He had nowhere to hide, forced to tilt his head up and look at Shen Tan.

“What do you think I’d do if I were angry?” Shen Tan pressed his thumb against the soft flesh of Lu Mi’s neck. “Looks like what you imagine isn’t what I actually think.”

Before Lu Mi could speak, Shen Tan caught his lips in a kiss.