12 Meaning

Winter’s drowsiness vanished in an instant. She kept apologizing as she hurriedly reached out to pull Yu You away, fearing that Zhang Xingxu might turn into the kitchen and grab a knife at any moment.

Yu You was sound asleep. Winter shook her gently but failed to wake her. Just as she was about to lift her up, Yu You suddenly grabbed Winter’s arm and pulled her down, and the two of them ended up lying side by side on the bed.

The quilt was soft and skin-friendly. Winter was momentarily stunned.

Zhang Xingxu’s temple twitched, his jaw clenched tight. After half a month of silence, he finally spoke a cutting remark: “You’re still able to fall asleep?”

“I... accidentally...” Winter stammered.

Zhang Xingxu grew impatient. “Hurry up.”

Winter dared not delay any longer. She got up, took Yu You’s arms and draped them over her shoulders, then mustered all her strength to carry her out.

Despite the commotion, Yu You remained asleep. She turned over, clutching her teddy bear, and fell back into slumber.

Winter leaned against the door, sweating from the scare.

She glanced at Zhang Xingxu nervously.

“Well... she’s been staying in your room all this time. Maybe she was half-asleep when she got up at night and just... came over directly.”

Zhang Xingxu maintained a stern expression while changing the bedsheets. He showed no reaction to her words.

Winter’s fingers twisted together tightly. “I’m really sorry. I’ll talk to her tomorrow and have her apologize to you in person. Is that okay?”

Zhang Xingxu tossed the used sheets onto the table, refusing to negotiate. “Not acceptable.”

“What would you accept then?” Winter paused, then promised, “I’ll agree to whatever you want, as long as I can do it.”

“No overnight guests,” Zhang Xingxu said sideways, eyes on her. “Can you do that?”

Winter bit her lip and fell silent for a long moment.

“If you can’t, then forget it.” Without making the bed, Zhang Xingxu turned to open his wardrobe and took out his backpack. His voice was calm. “Return twenty thousand. I’ll leave right away.”

“Hey! I never said I wouldn’t!” Winter quickly stepped forward to stop him from packing. “I promise you!”

She worried it might not be enough, so she added, “Tomorrow I’ll have someone change the lock on your bedroom door, okay?”

Zhang Xingxu lowered his gaze and saw her pressing her hand against his. “Take it away.”

Startled, Winter withdrew her hand and smiled awkwardly. “Sorry, sorry.”

“Well, get some rest after changing the lock. I’m heading out first. Call me if anything.”

With that, he closed the door and left.

The guest room door had been broken for a long time.

Yu You had lived there before, and since they were both girls, no one cared much. After Zhang Xingxu came, no one brought it up either. Naturally, Winter forgot about it, which led to this big misunderstanding.

For the next few hours, Winter couldn’t sleep. Her head felt dizzy, as if someone had struck it repeatedly with a dull blow.

She propped a U-shaped pillow under her neck and pulled out her tablet to draw.

Her last tutorial on onion beef fried rice had received unanimous praise, and she gained over two hundred new followers in bits and pieces, yet her earnings from the posts barely reached twenty yuan.

The world of content creation was tough, especially in the culinary field.

She had been updating her channel since last year, initially full of enthusiasm, but as work pressure suddenly increased, she barely had time to draw.

The low return on investment made her almost give up on this side job. But fortunately, a few loyal fans stuck with her and followed her tutorials diligently.

Winter sighed quietly and decided to sketch Yu You peacefully asleep.

Just as she finished the line art and was about to add colors, Yu You murmured sleepily, “Spicy braised pig’s trotters with two eggs.”

Winter smiled speechlessly and patted Yu You’s shoulder. “Do I look like pig’s trotters to you?”

Unexpectedly, Yu You mumbled a couple of times, then asked drowsily, “Why are you awake so early, Winter?”

“Because you woke me up.”

“...Oh.” She realized belatedly and said, “Then don’t be mad.”

She drifted back to sleep.

Winter finished the drawing, exported the image, and sent it to Yu You.

Outside, the sky was just beginning to lighten.

Winter drew the curtains, slipped on her slippers, and went to the kitchen.

She pulled out the blender, ready to make some soy milk.

Just as she grabbed a handful of soybeans, the door opened.

Zhang Xingxu came out carrying the used bedsheets.

His gaze paused briefly on Winter before quickly shifting away.

He turned on the washing machine, loaded the sheets, poured in detergent, and started the cycle.

The whole process was smooth and efficient, without a hitch.

Winter, standing in the kitchen, momentarily froze, forgetting what she initially went for.

Soybeans, rice, what else?

Red dates?

She tore open the red date package, washed two, and dropped them in.

Zhang Xingxu returned to his room.

As the door closed, Winter remembered—peanuts.

The washing machine hummed loudly, the sound climbing the ceiling, spreading along the chandelier, reaching Winter’s ears.

It was noisy, just like her mood.

Forget it. Since she was already awake, why bother thinking about him?

She poured water into the blender, closed the lid, plugged it in, and started it.

The blender’s roar in the early morning was like a sharp blade cutting through the silence.

Winter stood by idly, absentmindedly staring at the succulents on the balcony.

After staring for a long while—

No, she had to go apologize to him.

Winter went back to the bedroom and shook Yu You awake. “Wake up! The sky is falling!”

Yu You’s hair was messy as she rubbed her eyes. “Did your boyfriend cheat or did the house catch fire?”

Winter said, “You climbed into someone else’s bed last night!”

“What’s that...” Suddenly realizing, Yu You covered Winter’s mouth and whispered, “You can’t say that around here.”

Winter struggled to free her hand and hurried to explain.

“It’s still not too late. Come with me now to apologize.”

Yu You was terrified and flustered, putting her shoes on backwards.

She followed Winter hesitantly, patting her chest. “Won’t he call me shameless later?”

“I swear it wasn’t on purpose! I’ve lived here with you for two years; the route from the bathroom to the bedroom is etched into my DNA.” Yu You was about to cry. “You have to vouch for me, Winter.”

Winter held up a finger and shushed her, then knocked on Zhang Xingxu’s door.

No response.

She knocked again.

Still no answer.

“Is he asleep?”

“He can’t be,” Winter was confused. “He came out when I was making soy milk.”

She knocked once more, but still no reply.

Winter took out her phone and messaged him to ask where he was.

More than ten minutes passed before Zhang Xingxu finally replied: [Outside]

+V for the secret crab roe burger recipe: [Do you want me to save some soy milk for you? I made a bit too much.]

Winter waited two minutes, but not even the “typing” notification appeared.

“Forget it. He’s gone out,” Winter said, pushing Yu You toward the living room. “Let’s eat breakfast first.”

After they finished eating, it wasn’t even eight o’clock yet. Yu You glanced at her phone. “I have an appointment with a client at nine-thirty. If he’s not back by then, I’ll leave first.”

Winter nodded absentmindedly and raised the soy milk to her lips, only to have it snatched away by Yu You.

Winter was startled. “What are you doing?”

“You’re the one!” Yu You stared at her. “Are you out of your mind? You put peanuts in the soy milk.”

Winter frowned. “Did I?”

Yu You tapped her forehead with a finger. “Pay attention. Don’t go making yourself allergic and end up in the hospital.”

“I thought I threw them out last time I left. Why did you buy more?”

“I didn’t buy them.” Winter thought for a moment. She seemed to recall seeing a pile of peanut shells somewhere. “Maybe Zhang Xingxu bought them.”

After sending Yu You off, Winter took a stroll to the rooftop.

Sunlight bathed the world, and the temperature was warming.

The fog around Mount Lezhi had cleared halfway, revealing the lush green foothills.

The tomatoes she had bought earlier had sprouted new leaves, growing vigorously and looking completely transformed.

She had originally bought four plants, planting two in one box. Now both boxes had trellis poles fixed to support the main stems, showing they were well cared for.

Somewhere near the old laundry spot, two new clotheslines had been added at some point, currently drying Zhang Xingxu’s changed bedsheets.

The color was a deep, elegant gray—simple to the point of dullness.

She hadn’t come up here in days, and the vegetable garden seemed completely different.

His jasmine plant was still there, now adorned with new leaves, making it look less pitiful.

Winter basked in the sun for a while, feeling she had gathered plenty of energy. She hurried downstairs but found the door ajar.

On the hallway cabinet lay a tutoring flyer for an educational institution, covering everything from elementary to high school entrance exams, college transfer tests, graduate studies, and civil service exams—a comprehensive array.

Winter changed her shoes and entered. “You’re back?”

Zhang Xingxu opened the fridge, hesitated briefly, and took out a bottle of water.

“Oh, by the way, you didn’t reply to my message, so I wasn’t sure if you’d drink soy milk. I saved you a bowl in the fridge.” Winter approached and pulled out a piece of paper folded twice from her pocket. “Yu You wanted to apologize to you earlier. Here—this is her apology letter.”

“I contacted the locksmith. He should be here soon. Don’t go out, okay?” She tilted her head at him.

Zhang Xingxu looked at the folded note in her hand but didn’t take it. “What’s done is done. Apologies are meaningless.”

“Since you accepted the solution I proposed, this matter is over.”

Winter blinked. “So you’re not angry anymore?”

Zhang Xingxu said, “I don’t waste time on things without meaning.”

He passed by Winter, who called after him, “Is drinking soy milk meaningless too? It fills your stomach and keeps you going.”

Zhang Xingxu stopped and glanced at her.

“I’m serious. I added millet and red dates. It’s sweet and fragrant.” She opened the fridge and suddenly remembered, “Oh right, I used some of the peanuts you left in the cupboard—put them in the soy milk.”

Zhang Xingxu turned back, walked to the dining table, and looked at her holding the bowl with both hands. Curiously, he asked, “Why do you go to such lengths to get close to others?”

“No reason. I just do it,” Winter answered frankly. “I don’t fuss over meaning.”

“Because life itself has no meaning.”

Zhang Xingxu stared at her.

To be precise, he was staring her down.

Winter sat down, counting on her fingers. “Going to work has no meaning. Making money has no meaning. Eating and sleeping—if you really think about it—have no meaning either.”

“The simplest and most direct solution is to just die and end it all.” Winter wrinkled her nose and made a subtle face. “That’s a bit extreme, but I really used to think that way.”

She looked up at the minimalist chandelier in the living room—the first lightbulb she replaced when she moved in.

“What about now?” Zhang Xingxu asked.

“Well...” Winter’s gaze followed the chandelier down to his face. “I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the saying, ‘The meaning of life lies in the courage to bear the meaninglessness of life.’”

“I think I have the courage to bear my life,” she said. “What about you, Zhang Xingxu?”