Fifty Ways to Save Time on Brainstorming Titles

Zhang Pa said, “Aren’t you taking this too lightly? At the very least, we should set a profit-sharing ratio, right?”
Da Zhuang laughed and replied, “There’s really no way to discuss a ratio. If it’s too high, you won’t agree; if it’s too low, I won’t do it. Let’s rely on goodwill.” He added, “I trust you.”
“Are you out of your mind? I’m from Xingfuli—you know what that means? It’s either swindlers or deadbeats there, and you trust me?” Zhang Pa said. “Let’s just talk about a ratio.”
Da Zhuang said, “Honestly, I only invested thirty-eight thousand, and that’s just half a year’s rent. As long as your web series has any appeal, pulling in a few sponsors could bring in a hundred thousand, maybe eighty thousand. I put in thirty-eight thousand, and you get to use my gym as the shooting location—really, it’s a win-win.” After a pause, he continued, “Actually, it’s my wife who suggested it. I was planning to ask for forty-nine percent of the profits.”
“By the way, where’s your wife?” Zhang Pa asked.
“At the office,” Da Zhuang replied. “She’s got her own things to handle.”
Zhang Pa pondered for a moment, then shouted, “Everyone, come here!”
So they did. The Locust Squad of Xingfuli called a partial membership all-hands meeting. Zhang Pa said, “Grab some paper, write your names.”
Fatty asked why.
Zhang Pa replied, “Just do as you’re told, no questions.”
Fatty shook his head. “I’ve always had a dream…” His dream was to one day give Zhang Pa a good thrashing, but after more than four years, it had never happened—instead, he’d been beaten up many times.
Da Zhuang went to the bar to fetch a notebook. Zhang Pa took it and wrote his name first, followed by Da Zhuang, Fatty, Sissy, Old Meng, Liuzi, Bandit, Big Wu, and Turtle.
Counting heads, only nine people.
Zhang Pa said, “Guess we’re lucky. Everyone here counts as the company’s first employees. Fatty, you go to the business bureau tomorrow and apply for a license. I’ll be the legal representative.”
Fatty said, “Boss, we don’t have any money. We’re not college students, there’s no support policy.”
Zhang Pa said, “If you need money, borrow from Da Zhuang. Pay it back once the paperwork’s done.”
Da Zhuang was a bit frustrated. “Why do you keep making decisions for me?”
Zhang Pa asked, “So will you lend it or not?”
“If it’s just a temporary loan, fine,” Da Zhuang replied. “Is it for registered capital?”
Zhang Pa thought for a moment, “Now, let me ask: if the company is mine, does anyone have an objection?”
No one did. Aside from a stolen video camera, a computer Fatty and Sissy chipped in to buy, and the rent money from Da Zhuang, no one else had any stake in the business.
Fatty and the others stayed quiet, and so the matter was settled.
Zhang Pa continued, “This is a particularly unreliable venture—don’t get your hopes up, especially you.” The last words were directed at Da Zhuang.
Da Zhuang sounded wounded. “Boss, I’ve just spent thirty-eight thousand on rent and you’re telling me not to expect anything?”
Zhang Pa said, “Prepare for the worst. Now, let’s set some ground rules. We’ll shoot five episodes and see how it goes. For these five, everyone works for free—no income. I’ll handle post-production, also without pay. Whatever expectations you have, let’s discuss them after five episodes.”
He paused, then added, “But the company shares are one hundred percent mine. Whatever you want, it’s up to me to agree. Any objections?”
“Nope,” Fatty replied lazily.
The reason Zhang Pa insisted on holding all the power was simply that these guys were a handful. Even brothers should keep the accounts clear; Zhang Pa didn’t want the future bogged down in arguments—there had to be a single authority.
Zhang Pa raised his voice, “Think it through. We’re all working together, but the company is mine, the power is mine, and you have no say?”
“Nope,” Turtle said. “Doesn’t matter to me—how about you guys?”
After some thought, the others agreed, “Better you have the company—you can handle all the paperwork.”

Zhang Pa added, “Understand this: if the web series does well and the money starts flowing, you have no claim to dividends. All income will depend entirely on my goodwill—whatever I choose to give you, that’s what you’ll get. Understood?”
“Understood,” Old Meng said. “It’s not that complicated, no need to go over it again and again.”
“It must be clear. Even if the road ahead is dark, we have to be ready to greet the light,” Zhang Pa declared.
“Go greet it yourself—we’ll listen,” Big Wu replied.
“All right then, that’s settled. Anything else, we’ll talk after five episodes,” Zhang Pa concluded.
No matter how earnestly Zhang Pa went about things, even Fatty and the other Locust Squad members didn’t really care. They were just in it for a lark, something to pass the time. If the web series failed—well, wasn’t that normal? Only Da Zhuang would be out thirty-eight thousand.
How do you prove these guys are unreliable?
No need. The moment the meeting ended, everyone scattered to smoke, drink, play cards, boast—anything but discuss the web series.
Zhang Pa said to Da Zhuang, “You’re probably in for a rough time.”
Da Zhuang still had faith in him. “I trust you.”
“Don’t feed me any more inspirational nonsense,” Zhang Pa said, unmoved, and went to pick out a small room. “This one’s mine. Xingfuli is being demolished; I’ll live here.”
Fatty said, “You can’t have it to yourself. We’ll all stay here.”
Zhang Pa just smiled and said nothing.
As the group grew more and more unreliable and the legendary web series remained nowhere in sight, Da Zhuang’s hard-won composure began to crack. Frustrated, he said to Zhang Pa, “I’ve really been had by you.”
Zhang Pa replied, “Don’t blame me—it’s not my fault. I’m a victim too.”
Da Zhuang moaned, “Forty thousand! Ah, ah, ah, how many buns could that have bought?”
Zhang Pa said, “I feel for you. As the saying goes, ‘A fall into the pit, a gain in your wit.’ Take it as paying for a lesson.”
Da Zhuang asked, “You don’t believe in this yourself?”
Zhang Pa answered seriously, “I never believed in it.”
“Then why are you even doing this?” All the self-motivation Da Zhuang had mustered began to run dry.
Zhang Pa said, “Fatty and the others are bored, jobless, so we found something to play around with.”
“So you’re just playing, and you tricked me into investing—ah! Where’s the justice in that?” In his frustration, Da Zhuang’s eyes suddenly lit up. “You tricked me, didn’t you? Otherwise, why did you insist on controlling the company at the meeting just now?”
“A man cannot be a day without power—haven’t you heard?” Zhang Pa said. “All right, mission accomplished for today. As for tomorrow… tomorrow’s problems can wait till tomorrow.”
The unreliable Zhang Pa was the first to leave, heading home to write stories. Soon after, the even more unreliable group coaxed Da Zhuang into buying drinks…
That night, something unexpected happened—Yun Zheng brought the principal to see Zhang Pa.
Zhang Pa was eating instant noodles when he saw the principal appear at the door. He was caught off guard and went outside to ask, “Looking for someone, or is this a home visit?”
Yun Zheng said, “The principal wants to see you.”
To be fair, the principal was showing real sincerity by coming in person.
Zhang Pa hurriedly invited him in, grabbed two bottles of mineral water from the floor, and handed one to the principal. “What brings you here?”
“There is something,” the principal said. “You’re having instant noodles for dinner?”
“I live alone. I make do,” Zhang Pa replied.

“Let me take you out for barbecue,” the principal offered.
“No need to fuss. Just say what you came to say,” Zhang Pa said.
The principal said, “I asked Yun Zheng—he says you’re not working?”
Zhang Pa smiled, “You’re not thinking of hiring me as a teacher, are you?”
The principal was taken aback, then quickly replied, “No, no, not a teacher.”
“Oh? Not a teacher—so, what, a leader? That wouldn’t be right. I’ve got no degree, no official position. If I joined as a leader, nobody would accept it.”
The principal clearly hadn’t expected Zhang Pa to talk like this. He stared at him for a moment, then spoke quietly, “Actually, I wanted to ask if you’d be a security guard at the school.”
The beautiful mirror Zhang Pa had imagined in his mind shattered with a crack. He responded bluntly, “No.”
“You wouldn’t have to do anything else, just keep an eye on the kids and make sure nothing happens at school. Of course, if you can help the students settle down and study, there’s an extra bonus,” the principal coaxed.
Zhang Pa shook his head, “No.”
“Don’t be so quick to refuse. I see how much you care about Yun Zheng and Fang Zijiao, and you don’t have a job right now. Why not come to the school for a while and see how it goes? The salary’s three thousand… no, four thousand. Four thousand a month just to be a security guard.”
The principal was being generous—the security guard’s pay was higher than most of the teachers’.
But Zhang Pa still shook his head. “Sorry, Principal Qin, I’m not interested.”
Yes, the principal’s surname was Qin. He had something of a fiery temper—rumor had it he was a descendant of the legendary Qin Ming.
Seeing Zhang Pa wasn’t persuaded, Principal Qin frowned. “How much do you want?”
“It’s not about the money at all. I’m chasing my dream. I don’t have the time or energy to look after other people’s children. Sorry, Principal Qin.”
Principal Qin gritted his teeth. “Six thousand—a two-hundred-a-day salary. You don’t have to clean, don’t have to watch the gates, don’t have to deal with anyone else. Just keep the troublemakers in line, like you do with Yun Zheng and the others.”
Zhang Pa said, “First time I’ve heard of a security guard disciplining students.”
Apparently unhappy with the title, Principal Qin steeled himself. “What if you were a teacher? How about a temporary, guest teacher?”
Zhang Pa said, “Even if you offered me the principal’s job, I wouldn’t want it… Heh, no offense.”
Nothing seemed to sway him. Principal Qin thought for a moment and said, “Consider it—six thousand a month. Lots of graduates with master’s degrees don’t make that much.”
“No need to consider. I’m not going,” Zhang Pa said.
Six thousand a month for security—he could claim face as an excuse not to go. But as a teacher, where he didn’t even have to teach, just show up and sign in for six thousand a month…
Yun Zheng said, “Bro, just say yes.”
But Zhang Pa refused, saw the principal out, chased Yun Zheng away, and went back to work alone.
Time is limited, and everything takes time. Zhang Pa had chosen to write stories, pouring most of his days into it, glued to his computer.
There was simply no other way—if you want something, you must pay for it. For this choice, he’d given up several jobs, and even his love for the Mistress of the Palace. How could he possibly sacrifice his dream for a bunch of kids he didn’t even know?