Chapter Three: Being a Decadent Monarch is Truly Easy

"Your Majesty, surely you don't intend to bathe with these maidservants?"

Li Chen looked at Wan'er, his face full of helplessness. What did ancient laws of hierarchy and status matter? I am a tyrant!

"I am merely going to take a look."

The women's bathhouse, a place he could never step foot in during his past life, was now somewhere he could enter with full authority. Listening to the giggling from within, Li Chen could almost imagine the seductive scene unfolding... Brothers of my past life, let me fulfill your dreams for you!

"Your Majesty! Your Majesty!"

Li Chen had just crossed the threshold when he heard someone calling from behind. It was the gate officer of the Dangyang Palace.

"Your Majesty, the Prime Minister is in an urgent hurry to see you and has been waiting outside the palace for some time."

Old fogey! You’ve ruined me! Why couldn't you have come earlier or later? You just had to pick this moment.

By the time Li Chen turned back, the maidservants inside had already draped themselves in sheer veils and scurried out in a hurry.

"This servant greets Your Majesty!"

Although his wish remained unfulfilled, the maidservants' veils were so thin that the spring scenery underneath was almost entirely laid bare. When the opportunity arises, I will certainly experience what it’s like to sleep under the same quilt with all of them.

"Wan'er, since they are finished washing, take them to the sleeping quarters and wait for me. I’m going to see the Prime Minister first."

***

Dangyang Palace, Main Hall.

Li Chen sat with his legs crossed, leaning nonchalantly against the table. Before long, Ouyang Yu walked in, and upon seeing the Emperor's posture, he could not help but knit his brows.

"This humble subject pays respects to Your Majesty."

"Fine, fine, dispense with the formalities. Say what you have to say, I'm busy." Li Chen waved his hand. "And don't you dare talk about the Song Kingdom. My mind is made up on that matter; it is not open for discussion!"

What a joke. I’ve finally managed to lower my merit, and you want to raise it back up? I’m currently trying to figure out how to lower it even more.

Ouyang Yu was slightly stunned. "Yes, Your Majesty. Since you have made up your mind, this subject naturally dares not say more."

"However, you left in such a hurry during the morning court session that there are two other urgent matters I failed to report to you in time."

Urgent matters? And significant ones at that? Haha, the opportunity to lower my merit has arrived!

"Speak!"

"Reporting to Your Majesty, Yuzhou has been suffering from drought for several months. According to local reports, there are already tens of thousands of refugees. I implore Your Majesty to issue a decree immediately so that we may arrange for disaster relief to be sent to Yuzhou."

Li Chen scratched his back. Disaster relief? How could I perform such a virtuous deed?

"Fine, send someone if you must. Isn't the Tang Kingdom the closest? Just drive all those refugees over to the Tang Kingdom."

Ouyang Yu's eyes widened like brass bells. Has the Emperor gone mad? Driving refugees to another country? These are the people of the Great Zhou!

"Your Majesty, this must not be done! To do such a thing—not to mention how other nations would view us—is equivalent to losing the hearts of the people!"

Losing the hearts of the people? That doesn't sound bad at all. My merit score will surely drop significantly!

"Ouyang Yu, do I need you to teach me how to do things? That is how it shall be done. Hurry up and tell me the second matter."

If he hadn't heard it with his own ears, Ouyang Yu would have found it hard to believe that the Emperor of Great Zhou would make such a decision. *Oh, late Emperor! Open your eyes and look—is there any hope left for our Great Zhou with this new ruler?*

With a heavy sigh, Ouyang Yu spoke again.

"Your Majesty, the Prefect of Lincheng has sent an urgent report. Local bandits have gathered in numbers exceeding several thousand. The local garrison is limited, with fewer than a hundred men, and is unable to suppress them. He requests that the Imperial Court send troops immediately to exterminate the mountain bandits!"

"I beg Your Majesty to send a general with troops at once. If the scourge of the mountain bandits is not resolved in time, it will surely become a disaster for our dynasty!"

Hearing this, Li Chen was overjoyed. You old fogey, although I don't particularly like you, you certainly bring these matters up at the perfect time. Think of Huang Chao and An Lushan—wasn't it because of people like them that the Tang Dynasty met its end?

*Smack!*

Li Chen slammed his hand hard on the table. "There is such a thing?"

Seeing the Emperor's rage, Ouyang Yu felt inexplicably relieved. But the next moment, his expression shifted.

"A useless Prefect—what use is he? Issue a decree immediately: strip the Lincheng Prefect of all his duties. Furthermore, send someone to find the leader of those mountain bandits and tell him that from now on, he shall be the Prefect of Lincheng!"

Upon hearing this, Ouyang Yu nearly vomited blood. Letting a mountain bandit become a Prefect? This could no longer be called absurd; it was the height of ridicule!

*Thump!*

Ouyang Yu immediately fell to his knees. "Your Majesty, you must not do this! If word of this gets out, it would be bad enough to be mocked by other nations. If bandits in other regions follow suit, won't the world fall into chaos?! I risk my life to advise you: please, Your Majesty, retract this order immediately!"

I've finally caught such a great opportunity—retract the order? How could that be possible? No one can stop me from becoming a tyrant!

"If you want to die, I won't stop you. Even if you refuse to do it, I will find someone else who will. Now, is there anything else?"

Ouyang Yu prostrated himself on the ground, his body trembling uncontrollably. He had originally wanted to mention that the Emperor keeping a group of maidservants was inappropriate, but after these two incidents, he was left speechless, filled only with a sense of utter powerlessness.

*Heavens! Is it the will of the gods that our Great Zhou must perish!?*

It seemed the most urgent matter now was not to change the Emperor's decree, but to find him a good physician as soon as possible. No normal person would make such decisions.

***

With Ouyang Yu having nothing else to say, Li Chen lost interest in chatting with him. As he strolled back to his sleeping quarters, he heard the system's voice in his mind.

【Congratulations to the Emperor for completing a tyrannical act. The Great Zhou's national fortune has decreased by 1,000 points. 8,950 points remain.】

【Based on the current reduction in national fortune, rewards are being distributed...】

Hahaha... In less than a day, it has already dropped by over a thousand points. It seems it won't take long before the system's tasks are easily completed. Thinking about how he would live a life of pleasure with beautiful maidens once he attained immortality, Li Chen couldn't help but feel delighted.

***

Seeing Li Chen appear, Wan'er trotted over with short, quick steps. "Your Majesty, the maidservants have been arranged and are waiting in the East Courtyard."

The little girl is truly lovely, like a doll. With looks like these, she leaves those internet celebrities who use heavy filters far behind. Once I find the right opportunity, I’ll be sure to make you the first one I enjoy!

"Your Majesty..." Wan'er called softly, and Li Chen returned to his senses.

"Oh, I know. No rush. Let them keep waiting. Before I see them, there is something else I need to do."

"What is it, Your Majesty?" Wan'er tilted her head, her watery, bright eyes looking at Li Chen with curiosity.

"Wan'er, call the palace band over in a while. Also, can you get me some nylon?"

"The band is easy to find, but what is nylon?"

"How should I explain it... it's a synthetic material, like the fabric used for the sheer veils those maidservants were wearing today."

Wan'er suddenly realized. "Oh, Your Majesty, you mean silk-like fabric. That is very easy to obtain; our country has plenty of that."

"Good, good, good. Go take care of it then, I'll wait for you in the sleeping quarters."

*Heh heh...* Setting a modern musical style, adding a group of palace maids wearing black silk stockings—letting them dance provocatively in front of the commoners during the Moon Festival... Playing like this in such a conservative ancient era? That is the mark of a true tyrant!

***

【Several days later, Song Kingdom, Capital.】

【The Emperor of the Song Kingdom frowned as he looked at the messenger's urgent report. After a long silence:】

【"Someone! Issue a decree! Tell the envoy to Zhou, Zhang Jing, to return all the tributes from the Great Zhou immediately! Furthermore, inform the Great Zhou that our Song Kingdom is willing to double our tributes from now on and maintain eternal friendship with the Great Zhou!"】

【*My god! The Great Zhou is sending tribute to our dynasty—this is clearly a stall tactic, they are preparing to annihilate our Great Song!!*】