Chapter Seventy-Nine: Do You Know How to Bargain?

The clothing shop was a modest storefront of about twenty square meters, filled with ordinary garments of mediocre fabric. But with the current circumstances, Liu E was unconcerned with such details. He picked out a few outfits, told Gu Zhiheng to pay, and the two of them carried their purchases back to Gu Zhiheng’s hotel.

“You know how to put them on, right? Then get in there and change, and don’t make me repeat myself.” Gu Zhiheng’s tone brimmed with disdain, as if Liu E were some country bumpkin who’d never seen the world.

In truth, he wasn’t even as good as Gu Zhiheng—his face was a picture of clueless innocence, as if to say, “I’m a fool, I don’t understand, I know nothing.” For heaven’s sake, he was an old spirit who’d lived for almost six centuries. Did he have to be so embarrassing?

“Brother, these clothes look great. I really like them.” Having changed, Liu E strutted over, showing off with a couple of turns.

His long hair was a little out of place, but since he couldn’t cut it, there was nothing to be done. Still, the overall effect was pleasing to the eye.

“Not bad,” Gu Zhiheng remarked perfunctorily. “Next time, I’ll take you to Jia City and buy you something of better quality.” He praised him just enough, then turned his attention to his phone, ignoring Liu E entirely.

He was a proper antique—utterly ignorant of modern things.

As Gu Zhiheng played with his phone, Liu E watched curiously from the side. He noticed the characters Gu Zhiheng used weren’t the ones he recognized, so he grabbed him to ask for a lesson in reading. Gu Zhiheng could only stare, exasperated—was this fellow really someone who’d crawled out of an ancient tomb? He knew nothing at all! Wasn’t Liu E supposed to teach him?

And now? Now Liu E was ignorant of everything, endlessly curious, and clueless about the world.

“Forget it. I’ll take you to Jia City and buy you a phone.” Gu Zhiheng finally lost his patience; this guy simply talked too much. Unable to stand it any longer, he got up, gathered his things, and dragged Liu E out the door.

As soon as they got in the car, Liu E started in with his questions—so many that Gu Zhiheng nearly lost his temper and wanted to knock him out cold.

“Will you shut up already? Where do you get so many questions? Are you the Encyclopedia of Whys?” Heaven help him—was this person sent by the gods to torment him?

Gu Zhiheng was at his breaking point. An old acquaintance? This was more like a sworn enemy, and one with a grudge that spanned lifetimes.

Hearing Gu Zhiheng’s roar and seeing his obvious irritation, Liu E finally fell silent.

In that instant, the whole world seemed to fall quiet for Gu Zhiheng.

Deep breath. Calm down. Calm down.

Gu Zhiheng forced an awkward smile, then slammed his foot on the accelerator—he could only hope to buy that phone and escape this misery sooner.

“I’m warning you: no talking. Say one word and I’ll throw you out!” He glanced at Liu E, who looked as though he wanted to speak. Gu Zhiheng itched to slap a talisman over his mouth.

Had this guy not spoken for several lifetimes? Once he started, it was an endless torrent.

Fearing Gu Zhiheng’s wrath, Liu E nodded obediently and didn’t dare utter another word the entire drive. He sat quietly in the passenger seat, watching Gu Zhiheng drive with rapt attention.

In fact, he wanted to ask how the car worked, and whether he could learn to drive, too. And that phone—could he get one just like Gu Zhiheng’s? He’d watched for a long time and felt confident he could manage it. If they bought a different one, he’d have to learn all over again, which would be a bother.

By the time they returned to Jia City, it was already afternoon. Gu Zhiheng found a parking spot, and without delay, took Liu E straight to a phone shop in the mall.

He picked out the same model as his own. After setting up the plan, the total came to over ten thousand. Gu Zhiheng thought that was far too expensive—his own phone had been a gift from Chu Xingran; he’d never realized a phone could cost so much.

Thinking perhaps he could bargain, he tried, “Boss, can’t you give us a bit of a discount? Just a little off?” It was his first time haggling, and he was clearly inexperienced.

“Young man, that’s truly the lowest price. Any lower and we’d be losing money.” The salesperson smiled but refused to budge.

Upon hearing that, Liu E blurted out something that nearly made Gu Zhiheng cough up blood. “Brother, the man says that’s the lowest price. Just pay and let’s go!”

Was he trying to paint “sucker” on his forehead? Gu Zhiheng was so furious he couldn’t even be bothered to argue. He paid, took the phone, and left.

“I told you not to talk so much. Do you not understand plain speech?” He couldn’t help but snap at Liu E a few times. This guy never stopped talking, and the phone really didn’t need to be that expensive.

It wasn’t that he was stingy—he just wanted Liu E to know that you could bargain for things like this.

“I know I was wrong. Next time we shop, I won’t say a word.” Liu E looked pitiful, aggrieved that in more than five hundred years, this was the first time anyone had scolded him so harshly. Usually, he was the one doing the yelling; who else dared shout at him, except Gu Zhiheng?

“Alright then, since we’re here, I’ll bring you to buy some clothes and shoes,” Gu Zhiheng relented, seeing how downcast Liu E was, and dragged him to the men’s department.

The clothes he wore really were too shabby; it was better to buy him a few decent outfits. This guy really was both infuriating and pitiable.

“Brother, there’s no need to buy so much—I still have what we bought this morning.” Liu E watched Gu Zhiheng pile up clothes and immediately felt a pang for his wallet.

“They’re for you. Just accept them and keep quiet.” The more he tried to be considerate, the more trouble Liu E became—truly a massive headache.

If it weren’t for the life-and-death bond between him and the family’s old ancestor, Gu Zhiheng wouldn’t bother with him at all, let alone spend money on him.

“I understand. I won’t say a word.” Liu E mimed zipping his lips, then obediently followed behind, watching as Gu Zhiheng selected clothes for him.

Even the shop assistant was envious—two brothers, both good-looking and well-built, and clearly on good terms. They looked like a pair you couldn’t help but root for.

“Miss, pack up all these for my brother, and everything he tried on at first as well.” With a generous wave, Liu E was instantly transformed from an unwanted bumpkin into a pampered young master.

After buying everything, Gu Zhiheng put the bags in the car and, instead of heading back, decided to take Liu E out for a stroll.

“Brother, I spent so much of your money today. From now on, I’ll protect you well.” He might not have much else, but he was certainly good at fighting.

He could also teach Gu Zhiheng all sorts of things—anything except money, because he was as poor as could be.

As long as he wasn’t asked for money, he was willing to do anything.

Ah, poverty was truly terrifying!